Monday, October 7, 2013

To 28E, c/o XXX Church

To 28E, c/o XXX CHURCH

After an amazing trip to South Africa that led straight to Exxxotica NJ, I was exhausted. I decided to change my flight and leave directly after my shift today, just to have a little breathing room before Tuesday. Although I do believe that everything happens for a reason, little did I know what United 1224 flight had in store for me.

I always book window seats, because I love to curl up and read, and as I settled in, a girl in her twenties sat down next to me. Soon after, a guy sat down in the aisle seat. They began a bit of that polite airplane banter that only existed to me as background noise, until he asked what she did for a living. 

"I do ministry work."

My ears perked up, because sometimes I encounter ministry volunteers when I travel and we often trade stories about non-profits & NGOs in other countries that need help. But THEN, I couldn't believe what came next.

"I minister to people in, uh... porn, so I've been dealing with SKETCHY PORN STARS at some convention for the last few days, so..." *she shudders, disgusted* (The guy, who may have even been an attendee of Exxxotica, looks intrigued.)

I felt a fiery hot sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. This was supposed to be 5 1/2 hours of peaceful reading in the sky, relaxing on my way home to sleep in my own bed after a busy (but awesome) 2+ weeks. She is seated SIX INCHES away from me. I am FURIOUS, and I know I am about to explode if I stay quiet.

"I AM one of those sketchy porn stars", I exclaim rather loudly. She turns, surprised. Many other people in surrounding rows turn around too, curious to know what a 'sketchy porn star' looks like. "and that's not very Christian of you."

She turns and looks me in the face, wide eyed. "What's your name?" (as if my name mattered to her then. It may matter NOW, as I tweet about our exchange to almost a quarter of a million people, blog about it, and discuss it on my RADIO SHOW next week.)

I did tell her and she responded with something like I wasn't wearing makeup so she didn't know it was me or some nonsense. I just stared at her as she tried in vain to dig herself out of her hole. I turned away and stared out the window as we taxied down the runway, considering my options. In the meantime, she began nervously chatting to the guy about how she's been working so hard at the show and seeing all the women being so mistreated by all the men and it upsets her sooooo much. Poor souls. 

Minutes later, to me: "I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. I guess I was trying to be cool." 

I look at her again. "XXX Church, right?" She nods. "I recognize you. You came by our booth." Now she knows I know the group she works with. I began to loudly explain how she was passing judgement and had no business doing so. As I do this, I understand that my spoken words will never be enough to express to her how upset I am. So I decided to write her a letter instead. 

Dear 28E,

Since we're about to spend some time together, allow me to introduce myself. I'm jessica drake. I've been in the adult business now for over 10 years as a performer, writer, director, and Sex Educator. I am not a victim. I am not mistreated. I am not an addict. I was not sexually abused. Men do not mistreat me. I am not exploited. 

You told me you don't know why you said what you said...but I do. 

You said it because you're a hypocrite. You may have said it because you're brainwashed. I'm sure it wasn't the first time you've spoken that way about us. You said it to a perfect stranger on an airplane within 3 minutes of meeting him, and I can only imagine the things that you say to others within your organization. Your hypocrisy is, in part, my issue with organized religion. I have more spirituality and compassion in the fingers that I'm using to type this out on my iPad than you have in your whole body. I hope this lesson might be the catalyst that helps you change that.

In just a few sentences, you have shamed us, judged us, and attempted to influence a stranger with your skewed reality. In the name of JESUS.

You are representing XXXChurch. There are only 2 viable explanations:

A. You are parroting their beliefs and feelings about porn stars, in which case your promotional stickers you pass out at our sex conventions should read "Jesus loves porn stars...but WE think they're icky"

B. You are sharing your own very personal feelings about porn performers, and should NOT be publicly representing XXX Church.

Throughout Exxxotica, I was not mistreated once, but sitting next to you, I feel utterly violated. I am more offended sitting next to a hypocrite than you ever would have been seated next to a PORN STAR, and believe me, right about now I'd rather be out on the wing than in this seat beside you. At the very least, I am hopeful this will be a learning experience for you...and if not you, then perhaps for the public, the people at XXX Church and the shows that allow you access to us, like Exxxotica.


The Sketchy Porn Star