Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Syphilis Watch 2012

i have procrastinated writing this blog.

not the usual kind of procrastinating i do, like neglecting to rifle through a year's worth of paperwork to locate two missing bank statements for my accountant. the kind of procrastinating that i employ when i cannot bear to face something so large looming right over my shoulder breathing down my back. there's an elephant in the room, a monster under the bed, but guess what? the elephant has a name now, and the monster isn't hiding anymore.

as i'm sure most of you have heard, a performer tested positive for syphilis recently. though incredibly rare- i've never known of a single case since i've been in the industry- that in itself was no crime. what was a crime, however, is the fact that he (by his OWN admission) altered at least one test and did several scenes while he was positive. let that sink in for a moment.

that act was done with blatant disregard for EVERYONE in the industry. even the people he didn't have sex with. because of his actions, we are shut down until we understand the scope of this outbreak. talent cannot work. our crews cannot work. shoots have been cancelled, permits unused, locations unbooked- all at a great cost to everyone. being that he has been in our industry for 18 plus years, i am sure he understands now the consequences of his action, but that doesn't change the fact that the damage is done, and we are all paying the price.

i know how people in the business feel, it's been the topic of conversation since the news broke. there is a lot of anger, and rightfully so. in addition to that, we also must face the mainstream media who relish in the sensationalism of exposing more of the evils of pornography. from the LA Times, to the Huffington Post, from CNN to every lurker on Twitter, they are watching us duke it out in public forums with each other, adding fuel to the already rapidly spreading fire. the condom debate has been drawing to a close, and with the initiative on the ballot in a few months, it seems this is the proverbial final nail in the coffin.

whose fault is this?

it's easy to simply push it all onto the guilty party who forged a test so he could continue working, but let's take a look at his reasoning to understand the REAL issue.

he faked a test to keep WORKING. why? did he really need the money that much? did he truly have no other source of income? no fall-back money? after all that time in the business?

it's greed. GREED. coupled with deceit, greed is crippling the adult industry. just like the crash of the housing market, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, just like the (many) big banking scandals, it's happening to us. in big ways and in small ways. it happens when performers undercut one another to be the one that is hired for the scene. it's about the companies who only care about selling more content to stay afloat. the male performer showed up to a booking with a second stage syphilis rash (note- it has not yet been proven that he knew he was infected with syphilis at this point, but the pictures taken on set that day speak VOLUMES) he was wrong for showing up like that, the girl he worked with was wrong to work with him, the director/camera man was wrong to shoot him, and the company was wrong for editing and using the scene on their website. no, i will NOT post the photo gallery of the scenes, but it IS out there. yes, internet piracy has crippled us, that is indisputable. it's a self-destructive circle.

i walked off the set once many, many years ago when i was brand new to the industry because a potential scene partner had shown up with a questionable bump on his manhood. i didn't need the money that much, and i never will.

Performers- RESPECT YOURSELF. you only have one body, one life, one chance at this. you are worth more than whatever you are being paid for the scene.

we have failed as an industry. we have failed to take care of one another- at least that is how it appears to the outside world. we have (HE has) by example, shown that we cannot prevent things like this from happening...and by failing to successfully apply constraints, we have opened ourselves up to having those constraints forcibly applied by people that will never understand our industry. i do not want that to happen. now, more than ever, we need to forge ahead and unite to preserve our freedom to work in this industry...the industry that i still love and will continue to defend and protect.

this is MY test...yes. it's real.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

hey yous guys!

are you on the EAST COAST? here's your chance to come and get up close and personal with me at Sapphire. i'll only be there for ONE night, ONE show, one HELL of a party. you'll see me onstage, get a chance to meet me and get a free signed 8 x 10, PLUS you can even get a private one on one performance in one of the club's VIP rooms, and you know i give the very best dances your lap will ever have.

also, for those of you wanting to donate/help out with TEAM WICKED as we raise money for the 2012 AIDS WALK LA, i will be donating 100% of my stage tips to our general team page- so that's a GREAT reason to come out and make it rain all over my naked, writhing body. (like you really needed an excuse)

you can get more info, including details on some very special packages the club has to offer by going to

see you there...


Sunday, August 12, 2012


from last year, with my hat from the year before. i'm a repeat offender. ; )

it's that time of year again!

this year the AIDS WALK is happening on my BIRTHDAY- October 14th, and the only thing i want for my birthday is for you to support an amazing cause. not only am i doing the walk, but so are my WICKED sisters Stormy Daniels, Kaylani Lei, and Alektra Blue. you can make a TEAM WICKED donation, donate to me, someone else on our team, or EVERYONE else on our  team...just as long as you do it.

right now TEAM WICKED is in the TOP SPOT out of all of the teams, and out of all the personal donation pages, mine is third. that's huge news, and we still have two months. let's make this year our biggest yet.

for TEAM WICKED, click HERE.

for my personal donation page, click HERE.

it's my birthday, it's a great cause, and it's a tax write off.

thank you in advance.


Saturday, August 11, 2012

where to begin...

yes. that's the only bag i take.

It's been so long. I've been back a little over two weeks now, but between jet lag and everything I have to catch up with, procrastinating this blog has been easy. In fact, the only reason I'm finally writing it is because I'm on jury duty, and right now I'm sitting on a hard, cold bench outside the courtroom.

I decided to blog about my trip as I have some of my other parts. So much happened during the 3+ weeks I was gone, it's tough for ME to keep the details sorted out. Sometimes I have to check the camera roll on my iPhone to figure out when I left one place for the next. 

I seldom discuss my primary purpose for these trips- I think it goes without saying now that I have the worst case of wanderlust you will ever see, but I also have another passion- helping people. Many of the trips I take are solely for charity work. Work that I can't really go into detail about because of my occupation...sad but true. I knew the stigma and how it would affect me when I decided to pursue my career in adult. We can debate all day long about why it's unfair, and why the money I donate is just as green, or the fact that I work as hard as the next volunteer (if not harder) but those arguments have long since been made...and the bottom line is, at the end of the day, I AM a porn star. A catch 22 in this situation because there are few jobs that would make the money to enable me to travel the world and donate to charities. But I accept the double edge sword, and from time to time I lean against it's sharp edge to remind me I'm alive. i melodramatic of me. ; )
Back to Sri Lanka.

WHERE am I?!?

We were part of a really big build- our team was responsible for doing things like digging and backfilling foundations, doing brickwork, shoveling, hauling bricks, lots of really intense physical work. (Did i mention BRICKS?) With NO wheelbarrows & no power tools. It was hot. Like over 100 degrees, and the "monsoon season" we had been warned about was actually a drought. It was fantastic, though. We had one of the best teams ever. It's just so amazing that a group of strangers from all over the world of all ages and walks of life can come together and end up having so much in common. We all bonded over rice and curry, coconut milk straight from the source, and from sharing bug spray and hand sanitizer. AND ibuprofen.

there is no "I" in team...but there is a lot of sweat, dirt, bug spray, and occasionally blood.

We worked in a community that will have 25 completed homes with latrines and a community center. The families work along side us. We eat their food. Try to speak their languages. And we fall in love with them, with their children, as they shovel and haul bricks along with us. In bare feet.


Have a glimpse at parts of the build. For privacy reasons, I edit other volunteers out of the pictures, so I'm a bit limited. But you get the idea.

These are the specs for the houses, posted on the backs of each latrine. notice the square footage of the house and imagine there's a whole family living there...and the bathroom is outside. 

hauling all of these...

gave me these!

from this...

to this, a completed house.

In my next blog, you'll read about our two days of R & R- never in my life had I seen or done so much in 2 days! <3