Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sick girl 

I've never missed a day of a convention in 10 years, and I'm SO tired of being sick & tired.

So as y'all know, I got sick after Africa. Then I finally got better. Then I had a few days where I wasn't quite right, but nothing too bad.

Until Friday night. Then Saturday I was at the hospital. Lots more tests, lots of blood drawn, and the IV you just saw on twitter. The consensus is that I have (another) bacteria...caused from wrecking my system with all the antibiotics for my first diagnosis. And if that IS what the results show when they come back on Monday or Tuesday, the "cure" is a different kind of- you guessed it- antibiotic.

I'm not one to enjoy time off or bed rest or anything that holds me back (remember my broken foot 2 years ago?!?) but I'm grounded for the time being. Sorry I'm missing you at Exxxotica & big thanks to everyone who was there the first day. If you got pics with me or of me, tweet em to me.

going back to bed now.

Sent from my iPhone

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

catching up...

figured i should post a blog that A. isn't a cut & paste press release and B. isn't about Kilimanjaro. so, here you go.

i have lots going on. i'm FINALLY back to (almost) normal. not only did i pick up a strange bacteria, but yes, what i suspected was true. i had Giardia. after thinking i might die, MANY doctor/hospital visits, and being given the wrong antibiotics, i did a little research on my own, and then literally printed out the findings and took them in. once i had the right meds, things improved GREATLY. and lest you weren't paying attention the last time i said this, we should all really consider ourselves lucky for things like bacteria & parasite-free drinking water, health insurance, and modern medicine.

ladies night out at Con Rev in San Clemente went so great! awesome turnout, and i signed lots of movies...and answered a TON of sex questions. i stayed over, as you probably already saw if you follow me on twitter, and found a new favorite beach place. i went running on the beach really early as the sun was coming up, it was heaven. i want to go back and take a writing vacation there. just write, eat, beach, run, repeat.

even though i'm a girl, i hate certain girly things... one of those things is shopping. i'm getting ready for LA Exxxotica this weekend, and then a 3 day work trip right after that, so i needed to refresh my "professional" wardrobe. i spent today in downtown LA and Melrose. there's a store that i've shopped at for years mostly because i have a crush on the girl that owns/runs the place. she knows it, too...but it's funny- if we were in a bar or at an industry event or a swingers party, i'd have no problem being super smarmy & i'm sure she'd end up here at my house, having some drinks in the jacuzzi, NUDE. but in broad daylight in her store, while i'm wearing jeans and a tshirt & baseball cap, i get tongue-tied and awkward. f it, i'm putting her on my to-do list. she's sooooooo sexy.

and with everything else i have going on, i'm also writing the next instructional in my series "jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex", and this one is Female Masturbation. hopefully i'll shoot it sometime in September. i think that would be a great seminar to add to my list.

got something else REALLY exciting in the works, i just have to get permission to share it first... but here's a hint- it involves 2 of my FAVORITE things.

now that i've procrastinated enough, it's back to my script writing.


Tuesday, August 23, 2011


Thursday, July 21-
this stage of my climb is often broken into two parts- on one day, a hike from Barranco to Karanga, then on the next day, a hike from Karanga to Barafu Camp. naturally, we opted to do it in just one day. it would prove to be the hardest day yet.

my climb through the valley- look closely, that's camp in the background.
we woke right before the sun came up, and it was freezing. packing up my sleeping bag, body pad, and backpack was really tough...i was sleepy with cold fingers. not a great combo. after hiking through the valley below the campsite, the very first thing i saw was the Great Baranco Wall. it's almost totally vertical, and you have to scramble up using just your hands. i loved it though, it was so different from the rest of the hike so far! it took a little under two hours to make it to the top, and it's a good thing i'm comfortable with heights, because on the wall, you just can't help but to look down as you're climbing.

my view from the Barranco Wall, just as i reach it's top.
it was a long, long hike to Karanga. after doing the Barranco wall, i got my poles out and used them the rest of the way. the scenery changed yet again. still mostly barren, but the most interesting cactus-like trees. at times, i was walking alongside the stream, which was really beautiful in the shimmering sun. eventually you just settle into a rhythm and find a pace, ignoring whatever hurts, the sun in your eyes, the guide that won't talk to you... instead concentrating on how far you've come, the scenery, the trader joe's trail mix in your back pack, and how great it will be to get into your tent at the end of your day. at long last, i reached Karanga, where anyone in their right mind would have pitched the tent and called it a night.

but no.

we did stop and have a snack there, long enough for me to become jealous of all the hikers that were staying there that night, and then i kept walking. many times, i'd think i was almost there, only to get to the next ridge and see the NEXT trail.

when you hike for so long and get so tired, your mind does some really interesting things. with no distractions like twitter, facebook, the radio, TV, other work, your brain starts filtering through stuff and what you think about is different than what you normally think about (if you normally think of anything, lol) i think it was sort of like meditation, just not the peaceful lying on the yoga mat kind. i started to realize how i handle things, and what i really think about certain things/people. i won't elaborate here, i'll save it for my book. KIDDING! or am i?? at ANY rate, i found myself exhausted, and i was still a good 2-3 hours out of camp...and it was so cold i wore every layer of clothing that i had in my day pack. with my fingers and toes numb, and in the end, my mind, too, i stumbled into camp on shaky legs.


this is it...i'm at the last camp before the summit. the idea is to get a few hours' rest before they wake you up at 11pm to begin the assault on the summit. after a light dinner- i have NO appetite now, at this altitude-i climb into my tent. between the freezing cold temperatures and my heart racing from the altitude PLUS the excitement of possibly reaching the summit of the highest point in Africa, and the highest free standing mountain in the world, i can't imagine falling asleep. instead, i get all of my things organized. all of my clothes are ready- hell, i was wearing most of them already. i got my serious sub-zero boots out. fresh batteries in the head torch. extra socks. had to put anything i didn't want to freeze in my sleeping bag with me. contact solution, camera, phone, EVERYTHING. after that, i crawled into my sleeping bag to wait.

excerpt from my journal- "i have my second severe headache. i'm sure it's altitude and all the dust i ate on the way up today...but jeez, it f'n hurts. i got all my stuff ready for tonight's departure. i am so excited. i am so hopeful. i think i have a really good chance of making it. i'm going to do it."


next blog... summit attempt.

Sunday, August 21, 2011


excuse the cut & paste of this press release. ; )
i'm on my way out the door to get some beaching in before tonight!

LOS ANGELES, CA - (AUGUST 19, 2011 ROADS TO MOSCOW PR) - Wicked Pictures is pleased to announce that contract superstar and sexual wellness authority jessica drake is sharing her erotic expertise with the ladies of Orange County, California this weekend. Women from across the Southland are invited to join this celebrated star at Peekay Incorporated's popular San Clemente boutiqueConRev (401 S. El Camino Real, Suite D) for Ladies' Night this Sunday evening, August 21st. The three-time AVN Best Actress award winner and acclaimed sex educator will be discussing jessica drake's Guide To Wicked Sex, her exciting series of educational DVDs from Wicked Pictures

In San Clemente, the informative fun will begin at 7:00 PM sharp, when the shop's doors close and Ms. drake joins the ConRev team for what store officials have dubbed "a very special evening out - for women only!"

jessica sees the store as providing an ideal audience for her message of responsible sexuality. "I'm really looking forward to appearing at ConRev's Ladies' Night. It's the perfect venue to introduce my line of instructional DVDs, and I'll be on-hand afterward to take pictures, provide movie recommendations and even share some of my personal tips and tricks!" 
Jeremy Owen, Director of Inventory and Purchasing for ConRev's parent company Peekay Incorporated, is equally excited about Sunday's night's festivities.  “We’re thrilled to have jessica drake introduce her instructional DVD line at our upcoming Ladies Night. Her line is among the best we’ve seen, and we’re certain our customers will greatly benefit from the instruction and advice she provides.”

For her part, jessica sees events like this planned in California as ideal ways of forging a deeper relationship with Wicked's target demographic. “During my time in the adult industry and especially with Wicked Pictures, I’ve noticed a definite shift in the demographic. I’ve seen the lines at our adult store signings and convention appearances evolve. Where you’d once see mostly men, there are now more couples and single women who look to you for guidance.”

To learn more about the events planned at ConRev and Lovers, please visit Peekay's website.

Friday, August 19, 2011


Excerpt from my journal- Wed. July 20th- Today it was about 4-5 hours to Lava Tower, which was CRAZY hard. I had to stop twice- once because i couldn't breathe, and another time i thought my heart would explode if i climbed another inch. after that, we had about 3 more hours to hike all the way to Barranco camp. i got a smashing headache, and i guess i didn't realize how hard downhill was going to be.

i'm not robbing you, it just got REALLY cold!

day 3 was really long, but necessary for acclimatization. even though we climbed to 15,180 feet (hence the smashing headache) we hiked back down to sleep at Barranco camp, which was only at 13,077 feet. when i found that out, i was kind of mad, actually...and now in retrospect, i realize that says something about me. i learned so much about myself from doing this, but i suppose i learned even more from being all alone.

For the most part, the hike to Lava Tower was pretty barren. discreet peeing behind rocks was difficult at best. eventually i got to the point where i just didn't care. however, even though i had no inhibitions about peeing anywhere i could, it also got to be quite cold the higher up i went, so now i'm crouching AND shivering... not a good combo.
THAT'S what i should have gotten a picture of. 

Lava Tower

Lunch was eaten at Lava Tower, and since the altitude was killing my appetite, i shared my food with some of the strangest birds...they said they were ravens, but they had to have been 2-3 feet tall, and really robust, for lack of a better word. we didn't stay for long, i suspect the guide knew how tired i was already, and wanted to get me up and on my feet before i fell asleep. we began on a path that would take us down into the Barranco valley, where the scenery was once again, totally different. the pictures don't show perspective well, but everything was just so big! the valley, the stream, the plants, enormous.


the downward hike felt like it was taking so long...this was the first part of my climb that my guide was walking really far ahead of me at times. i'd manage to catch up to him, then he'd stop to pee and tell me "keep going" with a grunt. then he'd have a break and walk behind me. at this point i really felt lonely and tired, so i needed/wanted the company. naturally i got more angry, but apparently i know how to turn that anger into motivation, so on i went. and on. and on. and onnnnnnnnnnnn.

fianlly i reached the camp. the view was insane, as was the freezing temperature. with the exception of a *brief* trip to a pit latrine while it was still light out and my nightly mealtime in the cooking tent, i stayed in my tent, zipped up and in my sleeping bag with a hot water bottle inside to help warm me up.


in my next blog, Day 4, or as i like to call it, the beginning of the hardest 48 hours of my life.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


i'll be appearing with WICKED at LA Exxotica on August 26, 27, and 28th here in LA.
i'll post my signing times soon, but in the meantime for more info, go HERE!

and i'll also be doing 2 seminars-
Friday 6-7pm Fellatio 101

Saturday 8-9pm Intro to Anal

come out & open your...

mind. ; )



after waking up around sunrise for breakfast (probably my favorite meal of the day on the mountain) we packed up our gear, and started on our way. we'd be hiking to Shira camp, and while it was a harder day, it was also rumored to be shorter. this is also the first day my poles came out. i had never used anything to climb or hike with before, and at first felt really awkward with them...but as the day wore on, i really appreciated using them for support.

this is also when i got my first indication that perhaps my guide and i were not really on the same page. during all my research, i read and heard about how a guide is full of information, ready to talk to you about the mountain, Tanzanian history, politics, his background, whatever. they were NOT talking about my guide. he had not been rude (yet, at this point) but he spent most of his time walking ahead of me and talking to other guides and porters in Swahili. that's cool, i understand that we didn't really have that much in common, but because of that, i was really looking forward to conversation of some kind. i began to look forward to seeing other hikers on the path...only to discover that they were from other countries that didn't speak english either. hell, i had ever learned a little Swahili! but every time i got mad...i kept climbing. and climbing. all the way up the Shira Plateau, which was really tough. since the elevation changes so much, you really see completely different vegetation every day. we were climbing in the clouds, like thick white clouds, and i loved that feeling. i was at 12,595 feet, higher than airplanes when they let you use your electronic devices again. ; )

so we finally reach camp, but we are not there to stay, much to my dismay.
instead we are doing an acclimatization hike to Shira Caves. i had read the advice to "climb high, sleep low", but i was so beat i wanted to stay in my tent. they insisted i climb.

so i did. reluctantly. and in about 45 minutes, i reached the caves...which i proceeded to go into and sit down. for a good 15 minutes.

then it was time to hike back down. by the time i got back, there were more people at the camp.

i really wanted to roam around, take pics, and say hi to people that would talk to me, but instead, this is what happened, right up until it was time to have my "bath in a bowl" and eat dinner:

(taken from my journal) Tuesday, July 19- it's so beautiful- i'm up in the clouds at 12,600 feet! but it's f'n hard, like "wtf am doing" hard, but then i convince myself (again) that i'm going to do it.


the next Kili blog covers day 3, and altitude sickness kicks in...

Sunday, August 14, 2011

STFU Show Store

happy sunday funday!
(although i'm spending mine catching up on lots of work)

wanted to let y'all know that the STORE is up on the STFU Show site, and the first thing offered are hats, and so far, they're flying out the door! get yours today & you'll get a free gift with your order. free shipping to anywhere in the US is included, and we can autograph em if you'd like.

future products will include tshirts, mugs, & 8x10s, but if you have requests, let us know through the show email.

hopefully there will be another Kili blog up tonight!


Saturday, August 13, 2011


before i get started, i want to apologize for the time it took for this to go up. i was really sick...rereading the post where i was taking inventory of what the mountain did to me,  i had NO idea i would pick up something from the water that would make me more sick than i think i ever have been in my life. i am MUCH better, but i am still feeling some after-effects. at any rate, i reinforced what a wonderful thing it is to have access to clean water and doctors...

and now to get on with it. first, i'm sure you want to know WTF i was thinking, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro by myself.

i already had a trip planned to Kenya with an organization i volunteer for, and someone on the build had asked other team members if anyone was interested in doing the climb afterwards. i said i might be, and then i researched it a bit more seriously and got pretty excited about  it. unfortunately, that guy had to drop out of the trip for personal reasons, but i already had my mind made up, so i booked it solo. i'm SURE, in retrospect, that doing it alone gave me a totally different experience...and i think it was also way more challenging this way- at least mentally.

on sunday, july 17th, i was picked up from the guesthouse in Nairobi and taken downtown, where i was put (rather unwillingly) on a shuttle bus to Tanzania. i was the only person on the bus that spoke english, save for the questionable character across from me that smelled of a dirty bar mat, oozing the stench of years of drinking cheap booze. i pretended to sleep (or be deaf) for the majority of the drive...which ended up taking about 7 hours. crossing the border actually deserves it's own blog, but i won't do that to you. ; ) let's just say that it was really straight out of a movie, with me feeling like a refugee trying not to anger the guys armed with automatic weapons everywhere. i had to get off the bus, go through a process to exit kenya, then WALK across the border and then clear customs on the other side. the bus, once it was cleared, picked me up in tanzania, and we continued into Arusha.

once we got there, i was taken to a guesthouse and got a room for the night. the people from the tour company came by and we had a meeting. i met my guide, who at the time, seemed friendly enough. we spoke for about an hour on what i should expect (which really was nothing i hadn't read or heard already) then i ate dinner, repacked all my bags, and went to bed.


(excerpt from my journal) - i am nervous, a little scared, worried about the cold and the elevation...but excited and pretty determined.

as we drove the hour or so to the park, we stopped in a little village to get some last minute things. here's the cook stocking up on meat for our dinners. i'm taking the pic from the truck. all the butcher shops look like this there.

me, Eme, the cook, and Wenason, my "guide"
we drove up to the gate, and had to unload all of our things and distribute the weight among the porters. you must have with you: a guide, a cook, and however many porters required so that they can carry your camping and cooking equipment. i will come back to the porters in another blog. so we get registered with the park (so they know how many people are on the mountain at all times) and then, just like that, we are ready to go. at this point, i'm just excited. 

i had chosen the Machame Route...steep, a little more challenging, we'd sleep in tents, and it would take 6-7 days. i did lots of research for this trip, but by far, the most helpful resource was a book called KILIMANJARO by Henry Stedman. there's a website to go along with the book HERE. it really gave me all the info i needed, and i'd recommend it to anyone that is even thinking about climbing. i loved the maps, and how everything was timed out, so that an 8 hour hiking day was not a "surprise".

so, there i was, on my way up. the first level i hiked through was the rainforest. i saw lots of birds, mice, even some monkeys...but no rain. it was SO beautiful. a little tough in some places, and i certainly learned very quickly why you're not supposed to wear cotton, and why making your day pack as light as possible is a very good idea.

i walked about 7 miles the first day, up to 9,911 feet! there were lots of steep inclines & rocks, and the last hour or so was really tough. when i got to camp, the porters were there and had set up our tents- one for me, one for the guide, and the porters slept in the kitchen/cooking tent.
my tent.
when you arrive at camp, they have hot tea or cocoa for you, and some popcorn. it gets tougher to eat as you get higher in altitude, but the first day wasn't too bad. dinner was a couple hours later, a simple meal with lots of carbs, and then i was in my tent and out like a light, really grateful for my amazing sleeping bag.

the end

next blog coming soon- day two, and my hike to Shira Caves!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

where am i?

i'm home. literally. at home. not going out too much.

after 4 weeks in Africa where i was JUST fine, i come home and get sick. i got back on the 27th in the morning, and after being pulled in & questioned by customs- it happens all the time- i went out for breakfast, ran a few errands, and then went home to chill by the pool and just take it easy. starting the next day, i was REALLY sick, feeling like i had been punched in the stomach, so dizzy and nauseous i could barely stand up, just a wreck. i thought it could be exhaustion/jet lag, so i took it easy for a few days, hoping nature would run it's course. that didn't really happen. one day i slept for 15 HOURS STRAIGHT. after that, i got scared and went to the doctor.

8 vials of blood & two doctors later, no real answers. the assumption is it's from the, i wasn't just drinking it or brushing my teeth with the tap, but when you climb the mountain, there is only stream water, which i purified myself...until the very last night before the summit. the porters boiled water, but i'm going to guess they didn't do it long enough.  i'm on some really strong antibiotics. i think i'm starting to feel better. no fever, i'm not contagious, my system has just taken a beating. so THAT'S why you don't have pictures of the Big 5, me building stuff, the maasai, or me climbing mt. kilimanjaro. but soon, i promise.

i have stuff coming up at the end of the week- an interview for G4, and a boxcover shoot, so hopefully i'm done with all this. : O i know i'm very grateful for clean water & good health insurance...